This Woman's Work
by klcm
Summary: Coincides with my story 'The Precious Thing In Life' but essentially its how Derek copes with Penelope having cancer and how it affects him


Disclaimer: As much as I hope and pray I still do not own Criminal Minds!! BUT I do own this story and all my other ones!! =)

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It was like the past was on repeat, like the day he had come from being undercover happening all over again. Like a horrible broken record that was just ready to torture him. The love of his life, his entire world was now so fragile, and so broken, and so dependent that the woman in front of him wasn't the woman he'd loved from their first words.

His baby girl was fighting with every ounce of her being and at the same time she was using him to fight. To win an unknown battle.

**Pray God you can cope  
I stand outside  
This woman's work  
This woman's world  
Oh it's hard on the man  
Now his part is over  
Now starts the craft of the father**

All Derek had was hope; he couldn't get in there and fight for her, to defend her, to help her physically. He could only go as far as being her support for his life in this game it was the sidelines, his place was to watch her fight with every tooth and nail.

He couldn't help but be amazed at her, through it all she was still the defiant woman they all knew. Still the same woman that everyone loved and leant on. She wasn't different at all; she was proving she was a saviour with this battle, with this war.

**I know you've got a little life in you left  
I know you've got a lotta strength left  
I know you've got a little life in you left  
I know you've got a lotta strength left  
I should be cryin' but I just can't let it show  
I should be hopin' but I can't stop thinkin'  
All the things we should've said that are never said  
All the things we should've done that we never did  
All the things we should've given, but I didn't  
Oh darlin', make it go  
Make it go away**

He gets angry but shields it, she doesn't need his emotional turmoil, she doesn't need the extra worries, she needs to savour every positive energy to fight the best she can but she looks at him with the look in the eyes that tells him his caught out.

She knows, even now, with all she knows what happens in his head, what his thoughts are, what he's feeling, what he needs. He knew better than to try and conserve some feelings for when he was alone. He should've known to give in and let her in but he knew the moment he did everything would come out.

The worry.

The despair.

The weakness.

The angst.

The grief.

The sadness.

The shock.

The fear.

He was powerless to help her the way he wanted to, he had to settle for being with her every step of the way. He had to be the one to hold her hand as news and statistics was flung at them, as she was in and out of hospital and he had to be the one that was on form.

Yet with her there in front of him, her eyes burning into him, her eyes demanding him talk, he had nowhere to turn, nowhere to run. He had to be truthful and undo everything he'd built himself up for.

**Give me these moments  
Give them back to me  
Give me your little kiss  
Give me your...**

(I know you've got a little life in you left)  
Give me your hand baby  
(I know you've got a lotta strength)  
Give me your pretty hand  
(I know you've got a little life in you left)  
For...  
(I know you've got a lotta strength left)  
Your lovechild  
(I know you've got a little life in you left)  
Whatever you need  
(I know you've got a lotta strength left)  
Give me your hand  
(I know you've got a little life in you left)  
Give me your love  
(I know you've got a lotta strength left)

He remembers all the times that he'd just spout truths and worries at her like they were normal and she'd sort them but now life wasn't normal and life wasn't simple.

His wife had a disease that was crucifying them all, a disease that was a lone battle. She had to be strong enough for the fight; he just had to be strong to support her through it. His despair hit then, he had to tell her everything, he had to let it all flow, let her in.

But how could he when she was so weak and defenceless this time round? When she was at her worst and she was suffering? Yet as he looked into her eyes again, the eyes that kept locked on his and he saw everything he felt and he saw more. He saw what her soul held.

Hope.

Survival.

Happiness.

Lust.

Future.

He knew not to be scared anymore, she was a fighter, a born survivor. His baby girl was not one to reckon with and she was out there to win this and she would win this. Even as she stood with such little life she still held so much strength in her.

**I should be cryin' but I just can't let it show baby  
I should be hopin' but I can't stop thinkin  
All the things we should've said that we never said  
All the things we should've done that we never do  
All the things that you wanted from me  
All the things that you needed from me  
All the things we should've given, but I didn't  
Oh darlin', make it go away now.  
Just make it go away.**

So he let it out, he cried and he screamed and he showed her every ingrained feeling and he let it be known.

He let her know he was scared, that he was petrified at life without her because he knew a day without her, even a minute without her, heck even a breath without her would kill him itself. He needed her, just like he needed her before their love blossomed and he wasn't having anyone think otherwise.

He had to face facts. People died from this disease, people lost their battle. People don't even make it through the first battle. Yet his wife had made it through the first and nearer the end of her second. She was the epitome of strength to him but even strength weakened at times.

Even strength lost.

Even strength didn't get a third chance.

Even strength faltered.

But he'd deal with it as it came. He'd let her in and she'd let it out, she wept in his arms for his out pour of pent up emotions and in return he got the break he needed.

The break that allowed them to move on, the break that gave the gateway to see the end.

The end, that was their battle together.

He'd fight with her until the end.

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_**A/N:**_ So this coincides with The Precious Thing In Life, as a little bit of what Morgan's going through...

Heard the song and was inspired!

So I hope you liked!

Song: Maxwell – The Woman's Work


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